How to Develop Self-Trust

When I lived in South Florida, one of my favorite pastimes was to take my daughter to a tourist attraction called Butterfly World.  We would spend several hours wandering around this beautiful garden setting.  With piped in classical music, and hundreds of colorful butterflies swirling and fluttering around you, you could swear you had walked into a Monet painting.
What I found so fascinating about this magical place was how these butterflies would gingerly land on unsuspecting tourists.  They would land on their arm, or on their head.  No fear of being swatted away.  It seemed as if they knew who to land on and who would enjoy the experience the most.  

If such fragile creatures could have so much trust when interacting with tourists, then why is it so difficult for us?
Some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life was because I didn’t trust my inner wisdom, I rationalized and tried to be “logical” about the situation.  Unnecessary suffering became a part of my life when I delegated most, if not all, of my major life decisions to the left side of my brain. 

I’ve spent the last few years reconnecting with my inner wisdom and learning to depend on it more and more.  You could say we are becoming BFF and I’m currently working on matching friendship bracelets to make it official.

Here are some tips I used which you might find helpful to you build your self-trust:

1. Get rid of stinking thinking.  Hello?!  You’re awesome – there will never be another you. You are worthy because you exist.  Did you know the odds of you being born are one in 40 Trillion? Wrap your head around that for a minute.  You, my dear, are a miracle. Whenever the negative chatter starts up – tell it to take a hike.

2. Focus on your successes.  Was there a time when you trusted yourself and things turned out great?  I recently made a list of all the times I listened to my gut and things turned out in my favor.  If it happened once, it can certainly happen again.  My list is proof that my inner wisdom is always right.  Start your own list and refer to it often.  It will build your self-trust muscle.

3. Learn from your mistakes.  Were there red flags that you ignored concerning a person or a situation?  Looking back, I saw plenty of red flags but didn’t trust myself enough to do what was in my best interest.  Sadly, I rationalized and justified.
I now know how my inner wisdom speaks to me.  Some people have a feeling in their gut or experience a profound sense of dread or tightness in their chest.  Find out how your inner wisdom speaks to you.  

Here’s a bonus tip: your body is never wrong – your brain, on the other hand, can be a trickster.
4. Be the expert.  You and only you know what is best for you.  We are conditioned to seek approval and guidance outside of ourselves.   We go around surveying our friends when the only person who truly knows what’s best and has our best interest at heart is ourselves.

Self-trust involves trusting yourself unconditionally.  Most importantly, it’s an act of courage. When you trust yourself, you honor your core values and integrity.

I’m going to take a lesson from those beautiful butterflies from Butterfly World.  The same way they rely on their instincts to land on the people that will admire their beauty,  I too can trust and relax in the knowledge that my inner wisdom is always guiding me to my perfect landing spot.